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An online diary of someone who tends to forget easily.

Relationship Advice

I just want to share this interesting article I read.

It’s cheesy, but relationships are a lot like flowers – they can bloom and blossom with the right care and attention, but if neglected they will wilt and... Well, you know the rest. To make sure your relationship lasts you need to learn how to nurture your relationship and help it reach its potential. Here, we show you how to do just that:   

Don’t nag unnecessarily

We all nag from time to time when our partner leaves their clothes on the bedroom floor or when they keep arriving home later than you’d both agreed. Yet if you want to make sure your relationship lasts you should try to avoid nagging. Nagging not only gets on yours and your partner’s nerves, it also engages you both in negative communication patterns, which ends up making you both feel bad

Forgive and forget

Arguing is a natural and healthy part of a relationship. Yet there are lots of things we tend to do during arguments that are unhealthy. For example, bringing up past fights and using them as ‘evidence’ to prove a point in your current fight is unhelpful and useless. If you want your relationship to last, you have to live and focus on the present and stop letting the past dictate your here and now.

Make time

If you do not spend enough time with your partner inevitably you will feel distant from them and one of you will wind up feeling unappreciated. To keep each other happy and to make sure your relationship remains strong, find time for your guy or girl. Prioritising them over some of your other commitments will make them feel valued and important. Plus, spending some quality time together will bring you closer together.

Don’t be defensive

Have you ever been mid-fight and thought to yourself, how did we get here? One minute you were getting along fine, the next you’re having a full-blown, raging argument. If this sounds familiar you or your partner might be acting defensively.

When we act defensively we position ourselves as in the right and our partners as in the wrong. Often we may also see the argument as something we need to win, rather than something we need to resolve. If you want your relationship to last you need to put a stop to defensive behaviour.

Don’t ignore issues

If something is bugging you don’t just ignore it. You need to sit down with your partner and constructively tackle the issue together. If you do ignore it you’re anger will build and when finally it is triggered (normally by something barely related to the underlying issue) you’ll be so angry you won’t be able to express yourself clearly or be able to work through your problem. To make sure your relationship lasts face issues as soon as they strike.  

Love can change

Love is never constant. Some days you will feel huge amounts of love for your partner and on other days you might feel a little less love. Yet just because you don’t feel quite as passionately today for your guy or girl as you did last week does not mean you are falling out of love with them entirely. It is just a natural part of any relationship and you shouldn’t worry too much or overanalyse these shifts.

Compliments

When you first started dating you probably drowned each other with compliments. But now you’ve both settled into your long-term relationship when did you last tell your guy or girl that they look good, or that you’re proud of them? Little compliments help to boost your partner’s confidence and helps them to feel appreciated, which will help your relationship stay healthy and positive.

Have sex

All long-term relationships go through dry spells and when you jump into bed after a long day having sex can be the last thing you fancy doing. Yet, sex is important and essential to happy relationships because when you and your partner have sex the hormone oxytocin is released, which helps you to feel close with your guy or girl. Make sure sex becomes a priority in you want to hold onto this guy or girl.  

Understand your differences

It can sometimes feel like men and women belong to different species. We have so many different needs and perceptions, which makes communicating and relationships tough. One of the best ways to overcome these differences is simply to accept that they exist and be aware of these quirks in your day-to-day life.

Be vocal

Unfortunately as far as we know superpowers don’t exist and no one can read your mind. Therefore if you want your relationship to last you should never expect your partner to instinctively know what you want or need. Be vocal instead and tell them that you are feeling a certain way and need some support. Being explicit about your needs will mean you get the right support and they know how they can help you – in other words, everyone’s a winner.

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